Reading 17

The following passage is taken from the short story “Mrs. Dutta Writes a Letter” by Chitra Divakaruni (© 1998 by Chitra Divakaruni).

1. When the alarm goes off at 5:00
2. A.M., buzzing like a trapped
3. wasp, Mrs. Dutta has been lying
4. awake for quite a while. She
5. still has difficulty sleeping on
6. the Perma Rest mattress that
7. Sagar and Shyamoli, her son
8. and daughter-in-law, have
9. bought specially for her,
10. though she has had it for two
11. months now. It is too
12. American-soft, unlike the
13. reassuring solid copra ticking
14. she used at home. But this is
15. home now, she reminds
16. herself. 
17. She reaches hurriedly to turn
18. off the alarm, but in the dark
19. her fingers get confused among
20. the knobs, and the electric clock
21. falls with a thud to the floor.
22. Its angry metallic call vibrates
23. through the walls of her room,
24. and she is sure it will wake
25. everyone. She yanks frantically
26. at the wire until she feels it give,
27. and in the abrupt silence that
28. follows he hears herself
29. breathing, a sound harsh and
30. even and full of guilt. 
31. Mrs. Dutta knows, of course,
32. that this ruckus is her own fault.
33. She should just not set the
34. alarm. She does not need to get
35. up early here in California, in
36. her son’s house. But the habit,
37. taught to her by her
38. mother-in-law when she was a
39. bride of seventeen, a good wife
40. wakes before the rest of the
41. household, is one she finds
42. impossible to break. How hard
43. it was then to stumble to the
44. kitchen that smelled of stale
45. garam masala and light the coal
46. stove so that she could make
47. morning tea for them all – her
48. parents-in-law, her husband,
49. and his two younger brothers. 
50. After dinner, when the family sits
51. in front of the TV, she tries to tell
52. her grandchildren about those
53. days. 
54. “I was never good at starting that
55. stove – the smoke stung my eyes,
56. making me cough and cough.
57. Breakfast was never ready on
58. time, and my mother-in-law—oh,
59. how she scolded me, until I was
60. in tears. Every night I’d pray to
61. Goddess Durga, please let me sleep
62. late, just one morning!“Mmmmm,”
63. Pradeep says, bent over a model
64. plane.“Oooh, how awful,”
65. Mrinalini says, wrinking her nose
66. politely before she turns back to
67. a show filled with jokes that Mrs.
68. Dutta does not understand. 
69. “That’s why you should sleep in
70. now, Mother,” Shyamoli says,
71. smiling at her from the recliner
72. where she sits looking through
73. the Wall Street Journal. With
74. her legs crossed so elegantly
75. under the shimmery blue skirt
76. she has changed into after work,
77. and her unusually fair skin, she
78. could pass for an American,
79. thinks Mrs. Dutta, whose own
80. skin is brown as roasted cumin.
81. The thought fills her with
82. an uneasy pride. 
83. From the floor where he leans
84. against Shyamoli’s knee, Sagar
85. adds, “We want you to be
86. comfortable, Ma. To rest. That’s
87. why we brought you to America.” 
88. In spite of his thinning hair and
89. the gold-rimmed glasses that he
90. has recently taken to wearing,
91. Sagar’s faced seems to Mrs.
92. Dutta still that of the boy she
93. used to send off to primary
94. school with his metal tiffin box.
95. She remembers how he crawled
96. into her bed on stormy monsoon
97. nights, how when he was ill, no
98. one else could make him drink
99. his barley water. Her heart
100. lightens in sudden gladness
101. because she is really here, with
102. him and his children in
103. America. 
104. “Oh Sagar,” she says, smiling,
105. “now you’re talking like this!
106. But did you give me a moment’s
107. rest while you were growing up?”
108. And she launches into a
109. description of childhood pranks
110. that has him shaking his head
111. indulgently while disembodied
112. TV laughter echoes through the
113. room. 
114. But later he comes into her
115. bedroom and says, a little
116. shamefaced, “Mother, please
117. don’t get up so early in the
118. morning. All that noise in the
119. bathroom – it wakes us up, and
120. Molli has such a long day at
121. work…”
122. And she, turning a little so that
123. he won’t see her foolish eyes
124. filling with tears, as though she
125. were a teenage bride again and
126. not a woman well over sixty,
127. nods her head, yes, yes.